


I Don’t Have to Pretend, She Doesn’t Expect From Me

by mcgarrygirl78



Series: Crazy Love [9]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Alternate Universe, Drama, F/M, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-11
Updated: 2014-10-11
Packaged: 2018-02-20 16:40:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2435663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“We must never be regular, Hotch.  I do not want to be regular.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Don’t Have to Pretend, She Doesn’t Expect From Me

**Author's Note:**

> This story is written in the **Thicker than Water** universe, where the BAU are kids and teens. The title comes from the Sarah McLachlan song, _Good Enough_ , which is officially theirs.

“Are you falling asleep over there?” she asked.

“Nope.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I wouldn’t do that to you. I would just say goodnight.”

“But you're tired aren’t you?”

“I am tired.” He admitted. “I worked late closing tonight.”

“I shouldn’t keep you any longer.” She said.

“I didn’t talk to you yesterday or today. That’s two days, Megan.”

“Well, you were busy. I knew that and I was OK.”

“Well maybe I wasn’t.”

“Aww, are you serious?”

“Yeah.” he could tell she was smiling and it made him smile. “I missed you. I'm your boyfriend; two days is a long time.”

“If I was there I’d kiss you right now.” she replied.

“It almost sounds as if you said you'd kick me.”

“Maybe some other time…this time it would definitely be a kiss. Are you sure I'm not keeping you from resting?”

“Just ten more minutes and I’ll let you go. I promise.”

“OK.” She was silent for a little while, just listening to him breathe. “Aaron?”

“Yeah?”

“I can tell you anything, right?”

“Yeah.”

“I mean it, I can tell you my secrets and you won't tell a soul.”

“Of course I won't. You always have my confidence, I swear.”

Hotch sat up in bed. He didn’t know what was coming but he wanted to be ready. He threw one of his pillows against the wall, resting on it. She was right, he was bushed. This was the second night in a row he’d closed at Kassmeyer’s. He was glad for the hours and the money but it was heavy work. Luckily he didn’t work at all tomorrow and only noon to six on Saturday.

“Well I'm going to tell you something and it might shock you.” Megan said. “Its something that might make you think differently of me but I have to do this.”

“Um…OK. Wow, Megan, I have no idea what you're going to say but I'm a little concerned.”

“I better just spill it then. Well…” she cleared her throat. “I like silly love songs. I like sad love songs; I really like sad love songs. And when I'm feeling down I've been known to play _Wind Beneath my Wings_ on repeat and sing along. Oh wow,” she exhaled. “I've been wanting to say that for so long; it feels good to let it out.”

“I swear,” Hotch replied, smirking. “You're gonna turn all of my hair white before I'm 18.”

“What are you talking about?” she asked giggling.

“I thought…I don’t know what I thought really.”

Actually, Hotch thought she was going to admit doing something horrible to herself or someone else. He didn’t think Megan was capable of that despite her penchant for poisons and 19th century torture methods.

Deep down she was such a fascinating and amazing girl. Still, everyone had their limits and some days Hotch was sure Megan had reached hers. How relieved was he that this was just an admission to having a Bette Midler fetish? He could certainly look her in the eye knowing that.

“It may sound a bit silly to you, but I have always hated love songs. At least I thought I hated them. They always made me feel empty and angry.”

“How do they make you feel now?” He asked.

“They make me think about you.” she said.

“Which ones?”

Hotch couldn’t help but be curious. He knew what songs made him think about her. That was pretty much all he knew where Megan was concerned. They’d known each other for five months now and dated for four. There were times when he had no idea how he felt.

In fact that was how Hotch felt most of the time. He was beginning to realize that that didn’t mean he wasn’t feeling anything. The realization just confused him more. He knew that Megan had issues, so did he. But when they were together it wasn’t about the issues.

He could be open with her, honest; she felt the same way. Megan admitted to him that she cut herself. He told her about things about his family, as much as he could stomach. Sometimes it was so intense that Hotch wanted to run.

Other times it was pretty conventional. He wanted to talk to someone about it though he had no idea what to say. So he kept it inside; he was used to doing that. Now Megan admitted silly love songs made her think of him.

“Sad ones and non-love songs are my favorite but I think that’s a given. But the other night I heard one by Tina Turner, it’s called _The Best_. That one definitely made me think of you. So does _Just like Heaven_ , _Hit_ , and _It’s No Good_.”

“I like Depeche Mode.” Hotch replied.

“I know. I think that one should be our song. Oh my God, did I just say that? No, I don’t wanna be that couple, the one that has songs and moments and silly things like that. We must never be regular, Hotch. I do not want to be regular.”

“I'm not opposed to having a song.” He didn’t know what to say about being regular. He wanted to be but feared he would never have the opportunity.

“It doesn’t make us corny?” Megan asked.

“No. Every couple has one I think. And ours would be Depeche Mode so it wouldn’t be corny. Let’s keep it.”

“Let me think about it?”

“Sure. But if it makes you think about me and we both like it then it’s a good idea.”

“Are there songs that make you think about me?” Megan asked. “Its OK if the answer is no.”

“ _Sister Christian_.” Hotch said without taking a breath.

“I'm not sure I know that song.”

“We’ll listen to it on our date tomorrow.”

“We’re going on a date tomorrow?”

“I don’t have to work so I thought we’d hang out. How does Pizza Pete’s sound?”

“It sounds good.” Megan said.

“Yeah, so we can do Pizza Pete’s and then maybe come back here and listen to some music. I can play _Sister Christian_ for you and we can listen to _It’s No Good_.”

“I’ll bring my Sarah McLachlan CD and we can listen to _Good Enough_. I really think about you when I hear that one.”

“OK. I'm glad this secret was just about music and not about something bad. I worry about you sometimes.”

“That’s really sweet of you.” She said.

“I mean it, and not just because it’s sweet. I know you struggle sometimes and how tired it makes you.”

“I feel OK today.”

“Then I'm happy.”

“Well we should end on that note. You need to get some sleep and my mother is leaving in the morning so I know she’s going to wake me before leaving for the airport. If I don’t wanna kill her, I better get some sleep.”

“Where's she going?” Hotch asked.

“I honestly don’t remember. She may not have told me. She’s going with Whatshisface, the guy she's dating. I think she’ll be gone for a week.”

“You can stay here with us if you want to. I know you don’t care much for being alone. I surely wouldn’t mind your company. I'm sure my family wouldn’t either.”

“I’ll have to get used to it eventually.” Megan replied. “The time will come when I have my own place and there will be no one to stay with then. But…maybe I’ll come over a couple of nights. Sleeping with you is always fun.”

“Ditto.”

“Get some sleep, Boy Wonder…we’ll talk tomorrow.”

“Alright. Um…”

“What?”

“I just wanted to say sweet dreams.” Hotch replied.

“Thank you. You have sweet dreams too. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Megan.”

He hung up the phone, throwing the pillow behind him on top of other one. Hotch sighed and fell back on the bed. They had songs…he had feelings. He had a lot of feelings and no idea what to do with them. How would he express them? Clarify? Make sense of everything?

Too much was going on in his head right now. It was probably better to sleep and make sense of it in the morning. Hotch knew it wouldn’t go away. That made happy butterflies in his stomach. He would definitely have sweet dreams tonight.

***

  



End file.
